wahh.

Finally bought bud yesterday after 3 days of none. Thank god. I need to stop drinking. I got wayyyyy too fucked up on Sunday and blacked out, and broke a bunch of shit and lost my shoes, my scarf, and my wallet which was thankfully returned. I'm getting just confucked. New friends, new people, new experiences. I'm in over my head I think. Sunday was a reality check, and unfortunately I'm already showing signs of acute alcoholism so I'm freaking out. Thanks Dad. Speaking of Dad, he's dying or sick or something? How am I supposed to react to this? Smoke. Duh.

When I went to the hospital Monday morning (severe dehydration/I got scared cause everyone said it was like I was on drugs)they basically told me to smoke it up and that the worst that can happen is indegestion and the munchies. Which is what happened last night. I ate: two bowls of my roomie's delicious spaghetti alfredo with half a dozen turkey meatballs, a fruit and cheese plate from the unnamed coffee shop in which I work and some grapes and an apple and then like 4 glasses of milk and a pint of ice cream. I fell asleep on the couch with terrible indegestion/heartburn. Great.

As for everything else in life, well it doesn't stop. I'm hoping that the emotional stuff will settle down now that I have a grip on life and some bleak hope that everything will work itself out.

Coming this week if I don't kill myself: Voting and Question 2, and this terrible smokers cough. Someone buy me a bong.

First high of the day.

I know I've raved about wake and baking but, probably even better than wake and baking, is the first high of the day. No matter what time it is, if it's the first time you've gotten high since you got out of bed, you know it's going to be a good one.

Whether you sprinkle it with a little tobacco or the last of your secret stash of cali dro, you can't go wrong.

Lately I have been super content. Maybe it's the great company of others, or the fact that I don't have to go clear across Boston to pick up anymore. Or maybe it's that the midterm I was dreading is OVER! yes. Never take Cognitive Psychology, okay kids?

I never went to bed Sunday night. I studied from 2PM to 2AM and drank too much coffee and couldn't fall asleep. Rather than continue to cram, I decided to just watch the new season of the Office that I had downloaded. So there I was, weedless, watching The Office on my kitchen table consuming cup after cup of tea. At 6AM I started getting restless and started getting ready for school, reviewing the 350 digital notecards I made the day before. Ugh. Anyways, I kept dozing off in my classes and during my exam. It sucked. Then I had a bunch of people to talk to to attempt to tape my social circle back together. It went much better than expected, and every thing is cool for the most part.

Anyways, the rest of the day was whatever, I worked, came downtown after work to sleep off the 40+ hours of consciousness and here I am now, happy and reveling in the first high of the day.

EVeryong should get high today, hurry, you have 20 minutes til 4:20 if you're on the east coast, and 1 hour and 20 minutes if you're in the central time zone!

Here's what tomorrow looks like:

6:30AM: Wake up, get dressed, study
7:15: Run to the unnamed coffee shop in which I work to get a latte
7:30: Jump on the train, study on the train.
8:00: Journalism class, study in class
10:00: Cog Psych midterm, stop studying
12:00PM: Magazine meeting
12:30: Tell dude that I've been dating I don't want to date him anymore over coffee
1:00: Eat, wish I was getting high, hide from the cold
2:30: Ecology with said dude that I don't want to date anymore
4:00: Run home for 2 hours of sitting on the couch
6:00: Work at the unnamed coffee shop in which I work
11:30: Run home from work, take a shower get on the T
12:00: Chill night on the hill

I'm so stressed. I may take 2 of my anti-anxiety pills tomorrow. Is that shit legit? Can I do that? Whatever. I am.



So, I'm seeing this great guy now who's really into weed. His joints put mine to shame and he's such a gentleman. When we wake up in the morning he rolls us a joint and we watch tv and laugh at each other. Much more my style I think.

I'm so caffeinated, half-stoned, and ready for bed but clearly with all this caffeine that's not happening. I should be studying more but I really can't bring myself to read anything more about the brain or it's cognitive processes. I'll go through my digital flash cards (all 344 of them) one more time before I head to bed... maybe.

Lately I've been smoking even more, more than 1/4 a week for sure. Is this an issue? Probably not. I'm still waiting for my life to implode, should happen any day now. I'm hoping it won't happen until after my exam. Anytime after 11:45AM tomorrow is fine with me.

What's a stoner to do when they're too chill to put up with their friends? Am I really the only one who is just too chill for this shit? I don't want to fight with people, I just want to sit down and smoke a joint with you. I don't mean to hurt anyone, but shit just happens you know?

Jesus fucking christ.

I'm a huge fail. My life is imploding as we speak. I'm so fucking tired of girls.







but last night was amazing.
more to come.

SUCH A FAIL.

So yesterday in my stoned as fuck demeanor (I smoked a few blunts, one by myself, can you say FAIL?) When it occurred to me, YOU CAN TOTALLY GET AIDS FROM SMOKING A BLUNT. I mean, if the person with HIV/AIDs rolls it and maybe like, has a cut in their mouth. Isn't that terrible? I need to get better at rolling blunts so I can always roll my own and make sure no one get's AIDs.

Also, I keep trying to keep up with the buds of the week, but I just keep smoking it all before I can take a picture of it. Fail, Fail, Fail.

Can you tell that that's my new word? Anyways, I know I've been lame and haven't been updating, but hopefully I can get at least one other post this week and then I have midterms (c'mon that shit's allowable) so I'll take a break and be back in full force before the Montreal Trip. MUST SAVE MONEY.

Wow.

So some of my weed totally got jacked from my party Saturday night. Lame. I hope they enjoy getting high from it, hasholes.

Anyways, I went to see Miriam Perez blogger at feministing.com and radicaldoula.com. I totally want to be a doula now. A doula helps a mother through childbirth and after the birth. You kind of walk them through it, in a non-medical way. Very interesting stuff.

I told myself I wasn't going to pick up/smoke again until I finished my cog psych paper... but I just found like 2 grams in random spots of my room. I'm totally smoking it now. It's amazing. Win.

My birthday was awesome. Got really high and really drunk and had a wonderful time. And I saw Death Cab and cried my eyes out and it was perfect. My fucking wife is watching The Hills. This show is so goddamned vapid. I'm about to super glue my eyes closed. Awesome it's over. I'm watching Intervention now. This dude has cancer and is an alcoholic. So sad.

Okay, back to homework. Much love kids. Stay stoned.

nineteen.

It's 9 minutes til my 19th birthday and I'm watching CSI: Miami and smoking a bowl so I can start my birthday high. That's logical right?

Anyways, this birthday is a big one for me. I've never had such good friends around me like this. I've never had people want to throw a party for me or do some big event with me. I'm really enjoying life lately. The wife says I should open my present at midnight. Four minutes. I could cry. No, sorry, that was the PMS talking, I'm fine.

Two more minutes. The hit I just took made me cough up my right lung. Jesus. Okay.

Whoa, okay, I'm 19 now. On my 18th birthday I was trying to survive a shit storm. I was living in a single in the L.B. and fell asleep at 9:30PM. Exciting huh?

My wifey gave me a beautiful necklace from Betsey Johnson for my birthday! I loveeeeeeeeeee it. It's got a wolf on it! And my wonderful roommate bought me a Zippo lighter with the Beatles on it! It's adorable.

This is my year I think. Now I just need to land an internship at the Weekly Dig.